The bar is as long as it needs to be, we would have to measure your ear!
It is a painful piercing just because it is cartilage and it's two piercings in one go. Compared to navel and tongue, I would say more painful, but it is down to the person. People are more sensitive in some places than others and people have different pain thresholds. 

Healing times vary, scaffolds can take up to a year to be fully fully healed.

Cleaning it is the same as any other ear piercing, navel, nose etc. Quarter of a teaspoon of sea salt and a couple of drops of tea tree oil into a cup of freshly boiled water. Allow it to cool to a suitable level and using a cotton bud/ball clean round the piercing 2/3 times a day. Wash your hands before touching it and don't play with the jewellery.

Clare